Helena Sonar
Helena, a peer support worker in Auckland, shares her story of recovery from mental distress, in the hope it will help others

“My uncle and mum both experienced mental illness, but it was never talked about in my family. I sort of learned as I went and supported my mum when she needed it,” says Helena. “I didn’t think it was fair how mental illness affected my mum’s health and I felt really overwhelmed about it.”
While studying at university and supporting her mum, Helena suffered a bad head injury and began to experience her own mental distress. At the time, she didn’t realise what was happening.
“Luckily, I had ongoing support from ACC and a university disability allowance that helped me with my study and extra exam time.” Eventually, Helena got professional help, but it was a very hard road.
“I was ashamed and not in the right mindset for a while, so it kept me from reaching out,” she explains.
“I was diagnosed with schizophrenia and psychosis, and for a while I kept asking ‘why me?’ – until I learned more and spoke with people who had experienced similar things.”
Helena’s mum doesn’t have the same outlook. “She doesn’t want to talk about her experience or learn more about it – she is quite closed up. For her, it was something that happened in the past and she just wants to forget about it.”
“It was difficult to return to University. I felt out of my comfort zone, but it meant a lot to finish my degree because I’d worked so hard for it.”
Every day she continues to grow and learn about herself and her mental wellbeing. “I’m still on the road to recovery. I believe I’ve come a long way through change, support and acceptance.”
She’s embraced ‘hope’ as a key concept, after her experience. “Hope to me means having a positive mindset to mental health and life – and looking at my wellbeing as a whole, not just a part.
“The advice I would give my younger self is – keep your options open, keep going and don’t give up. Accept everything that happens to you and then leave those things in the past.”
“Remembering to be assertive in my day-to-day schedule is helpful – and something I have also embraced. Most of the time I want to speak up – I don’t want to hold back – so I would rather ask for assistance than bottle things up.
“Now I have hope, I am able to share that hope with others.”
Helena is a 2010 NZ Mental Health Media Grant Fellow.
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