How to set mental distress recovery goals

Experiencing mental health challenges can be exactly that – challenging. When we are experiencing distress, we are often focusing simply on getting through the present moment, rather than thinking about our future at large.  

When you feel ready to, dream of the future you want. It might not feel within your reach right now, but it can be.  

Don’t feel limited by other people’s expectations of your recovery. You are the expert in your own mental distress journey – no one knows better than you do what your recovery might look like. 

Understand who the best people to support you may be. Maybe it’s your whānau, friends, or your partner – these are the people who can cheer you on as you make progress, or support you when things aren’t going so well.  

Whoever your support system are, ensure they are people you feel you can trust and talk with openly. 

You might also look into a practice such as Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT), which offers concrete skills you can practice to manage any distressing thoughts or feelings you might be experiencing. DBT has a whole module on managing distressing emotions or feelings, which may be a good starting point.  

When envisioning your goals, try to think about where you would like to be at a future date and time. That date or time might be this afternoon, or tomorrow, or next week. You can take small steps to get there, and your goals might be simple. For example, you might really want to tidy the kitchen, go for a walk, be still for a while, or resist negative thoughts you might be experiencing. 

Where you aim to be at a future date might not look exactly the same as it did before you became unwell. Our mental distress experiences can shape us in different ways, and provide us with new wisdom around what works best for our wellbeing.  

Start small. Setting small goals makes them more achievable, and can provide you with a little dopamine boost when you achieve them. 

You might start with just one goal at a time. Plan a set date and time for your goal – such as tomorrow morning – and see you how you feel.  Keep checking in to see if you feel ready to take another step.  

Be gentle with yourself. You might feel frustrated at the idea of going slowly, but recovery requires consistency in our habits rather than speed.  

Think about how you want to reward yourself when you do reach your goals.  

When you’ve completed a goal, you might want to make another one straightaway – but don’t forget to pause and recognise yourself for the steps you’ve taken.  

It’s highly likely that you’ve made progress outside of your goals – give yourself a pat on the back for that progress, too. 

Recovery journeys often have ups and downs, and you may experience unwellness again. 

If you become unwell again, it’s important to remember this is not a failure on your part. It is normal to experience recovery journey highs and lows. This period too shall pass. 

A safety plan can help you if you do become unwell. If you’re looking to create one for the first time, you might use our Ko Wai Ahau safety plan as a starting point. Your safety plan should include information about what it looks like when you start to become distressed, so that you and your support network are able to recognise the signs more quickly. It should also explain what helps you to cope through tough times, and have contact information for any support networks you might need, such as a close friend or whānau member, GP or mental health professional.  

Having a safety plan in place takes away the need to make rushed decisions during difficult times, and should help you to find your way out of distress more easily.  

Congratulations! If you’ve set a goal, achieved one, or made progress in any way, tau kē! We hope you feel proud.  

If you haven’t made any progress, that’s okay too. You have made important steps forward simply by considering your goals ahead.  

However you feel, know that it’s perfectly valid to feel that way. Sit with your feelings. Let them come so they can go.    

During times like these, practicing radical acceptance can help. Radical acceptance is the practice of fully acknowledging and embracing the present moment, including its difficulties and discomforts, without trying to change or control it. You can learn more about radical acceptance here and practice radical acceptance in this context by acknowledging: 

• you have done what you felt you needed or wanted to do  
• you have done your best.