Milestone birthdays mean different things to different people. But they’re often an opportunity for reflection and gratitude.
For Jenny Hirst, turning 60 was particularly poignant as that’s how old her father Herb was when he took his own life.
Jenny says her dad lived an extraordinary life. Born Hans Hirsch in Germany, the middle of three children in a Jewish family, he and his siblings left Berlin on a Kindertransport in 1939 and lived with foster families in Scotland. They never saw their mother again as she and most of their relatives perished in the Holocaust. After the war Herb emigrated to New Zealand, changed his name, and he and his sister attended the University of Auckland. He had a varied working life, loved to ski, play tennis and badminton, and enjoyed music, books, dogs, and, of course, his children. He had a wide circle of friends, many of whom were unaware of his background. But health problems and financial stress later in life contributed to his depression.
There was another factor which Jenny says she’s only recently come to appreciate. Herb was a passionate tennis player and member of the Campbells Bay tennis club on Auckland's North Shore. But, after a ruptured Achilles tendon in his fifties, he lost the connection to the club.
“It hasn’t been until recently, while I’ve been thinking about my running community and the connection I have to them which support my wellbeing, that I realise what a huge impact that must have had on dad.”
Jenny didn’t want her 60th birthday to pass without doing something special to honour her dad, “and to give some meaning to his loss”.
She called her fundraiser 60 kms for 60 years. It involved a route around Auckland’s North Shore that included bush trails, hidden pathways, scrambling over rocks under the Harbour Bridge and all the beaches from Takapuna to Browns Bay. It also passed by Herb’s beloved Campbells Bay tennis club.
Jenny set up a Facebook event and put the word out to her running community. More than 40 friends joined her on the day, with three of them completing the full 60 kilometres, a few managing 50 kilometres, and a big group who ran 30 kilometres. Many others dropped in for a few kilometres each.
Her husband and some other friends ran aid stations along the route and acted as cheerleaders, and a friend wrote motivational prompts in chalk on the footpath for the last two kilometres of the run.
Jenny says the day was a true reflection of the Mental Health Foundation's Five Ways to Wellbeing – Connect, Give, Take Notice, Keep Learning, and Be Active.
“Obviously with a group run there’s connection and being active, but it was also a great way to take notice of things like the memorial under the harbour bridge that many people hadn’t seen before, and to learn about the lives lost during the building of the bridge.”
Jenny says with her father’s history of depression and her losing her mother to lung cancer at 65, she’s very conscious of the need to look after her own physical and mental health.
“The biggest thing for me is that my parents didn’t know my kids, so I work hard to prioritise my own wellbeing and how I do that is by running and being outdoors which is something my dad introduced me to, and for which I’m very grateful.”
Jenny says losing her father when she was just 25 cast a long shadow. “It took me years to process it, but now I talk openly about dad and his death. I like to think that if it happened now, he would have had more help.”
Jenny says being able to share her dad’s story helped build connections with so many people who generously donated to her fundraising efforts – she quickly surpassed her initial goal of $2500, eventually raising $8462 by the end of the weekend of the run.
The Mental Health Foundation thanks Jenny for sharing her dad’s story with us and for her dedication to helping others learn about and use the simple everyday tools that can support their own wellbeing.
Oh, and happy birthday!