Managing manawa pā/triggered thoughts and emotions while living through a pandemic

Feeling anxious is a common reaction to stressful situations beyond our immediate control. Many people are feeling frustrated or on edge about the possibility of catching COVID-19. They may also be worried they might not fully recover after being infected, or that recovering will take a long time.  

If you have been acutely unwell or have had to go to the hospital after contracting COVID-19, you may have felt scared and helpless. You might still be feeling anxious about that experience, or feeling worried about contracting COVID-19 again. These are all completely normal responses.  Anxious feelings are our body’s way of telling us that we are threatened and can leave us feeling pōuri/upset and exhausted. 

You can manage mānukanuka/worries by:

• Rating them on a scale between one and 10. Your worries might be insistent and make you feel as if you must act on them all right away - but do think about how urgent they really are. Try writing them down and giving each worry a number between one and 10, where one is not important and 10 is very important. This will help things feel more manageable. 
• Writing your worries down. Writing about or drawing your worries can help you work through how you’re feeling and help get you out of the rabbit hole of negativity. Writing down what you’re grateful for can also give you some balance and perspective. It’s important that you write with empathy about your mānukanuka/worries and aim to accept all your feelings as valid. Resist the urge to fight your feelings, simply letting them be whilst you ride the waves of emotion. Remember that you are not your emotions or feelings, and they are not a permanent state of being; they too will pass.
• Setting an intention or goal for each day. Your intention might be to call a friend or whānau member, to go for a walk or simply to show yourself more empathy and understanding. When things feel overwhelming, returning to this intention can make things feel more manageable.
• Trying your best to eat and sleep well. Eating healthy kai and sleeping well are easier said than done right now, but they can make a big difference. Check out this guide on sleeping and this guide on eating.
• Practising mindfulness or reciting karakia/prayer. Mindfulness can really help you to let go of troubling thoughts and ground you in the here and now. You could watch a free mindfulness or meditation video, watch this guide to mindfulness resources or try to start and end each day with a karakia/prayer that speaks to you in a soothing way. You could also try breathwork to help to calm your thoughts – watch this visual guide to square breathing to get started.  
• Reaching out to a loved one for support. Sharing your worries or mānukanuka with someone you trust can be daunting. However, it can also be a fantastic way of releasing the emotions attached to your worries, helping you to accept your feelings and come up with a plan to move forward. Often, hearing a different view on your situation can help you to gain further perspective.

Feeling mataku/afraid is completely understandable right now. You might be feeling afraid of contracting COVID-19 again, or for the first time; of passing on the virus on to a close friend or whānau member; or you might be worried about how long it’s taking to feel yourself again. You might also be feeling afraid about other pandemic-related issues, such as impacts on your finances, job or relationships.

If you’re feeling fear as a result of tūkino/violence, click here for support.

If you’re feeling fear because of a needle phobia, read our dedicated resource on this topic.

You can manage your mataku/fears by:

• Staying connected with whānau and friends. Loneliness can feed fear and drive negative thinking, so having a face-to-face kōrero or chat with someone you trust can really help. If you’re isolating to keep yourself or others safe or you’re not up to going outdoors, a phone or video call with whānau, friends or a local community group can also help.
• Creating a safe space just for yourself. Having a space of your own can help you to regain balance and distract you from mataku/fear. Your safe space could be a cosy corner of a room with all your favourite things; a quiet, uninterrupted place to reflect in nature; or, if short on space, simply a container holding things you enjoy the feel, smell, sight and sound of, such as aromatherapy oil for a mirimiri/massage. See more self-soothing ideas you can use to ignite your senses.
• Watching a movie or video that makes you katakata/laugh – a comedy, recordings of Billy T James’ old stand-ups or old videos of the whānau. Laughing can dispel fear quickly, especially if we can share our laughter with others.
• Using distraction techniques to take your mind off your fears or worries. Doing something that requires focus, like colouring-in, doodling plants or animals or passive progressive muscle relaxation, which relaxes muscles throughout your body by thinking about releasing tension can help distract your mind when you’re feeling panicked or worried.
• Pre-planning for when you will wear a mask, and what you will do before and after wearing it. This resource is designed to help you, or your loved ones, work through any difficult feelings that may arise when wearing a mask. It offers practical tips on how to help manage these feelings and aims to help you be more comfortable when wearing a mask.

Obsessive thoughts and compulsions can be really tricky to manage, especially during periods of uncertainty and change.  

You can manage your obsessions and compulsions by:

• Trying to sit with mānukanuka/anxious feelings that would normally lead to a compulsive action, without taking that action. This exercise aims to make your uncomfortable thoughts and feelings more comfortable and helps you to gain power over them in the future. This can be done with the help of a psychologist, or alongside a friend or whānau member who has helped you with something similar in the past.
• Creating a routine that takes your mind off obsessive thoughts and includes activities you enjoy. You could include new things that you’re interested in, such as learning te reo Māori or taking free yoga classes online, or focus on the little things like brushing your teeth and washing your hair.  
• Allow yourself to create a basic safety plan based on recommendations from trusted health providers, but do not add to it. For example, washing your hands with soap and water for 30 seconds after being outside or in public, before eating, after going to the bathroom and after you have coughed/sneezed or blown your nose is recommended by health professionals. If you feel like you need to do more than this, you might ask a trusted whānau member or hoa/friend to help set boundaries with your hygiene measures.
• Remember that you know your triggers and boundaries better than anyone else. Public health organisations don’t create their guidelines with obsessions or compulsions in mind, therefore it might be helpful to kōrero/talk with a trusted whānau member, hoa/friend and/or a therapist to help you determine what a safety plan might look like for you and your needs.

These sage pieces of advice or mātauranga are from people who’ve “been there, done that” – people who have lived and are successfully managing their way through mental distress and trauma.

“Let yourself feel sad about the fact you’ve have had to postpone some stuff. Anchor into the word “postpone”, meaning it will still happen, but later.”

“Be honest with others if you’re struggling, rather than just deflecting their enquiry with a stock answer like 'fine.'”

“The hard times pass... the feelings pass... new growth is just around the corner.”

Hurihia tō aroaro ki te rā, tukuna tō ātārangi kia taka ki muri i a koe.
Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you.

Phone numbers

• Text or call 1737 for a team of free, trained counsellors who are available 24/7
• Call 0800 ANXIETY (269 4389) for specific questions around your mānukanuka/anxious feelings
• Call Asian Family Services on 0800 862 342 if you are looking to reach out to someone from a similar culture or are not fluent in English
• See our helplines resource for more numbers.

Apps and websites

• Use the app Staying on Track to access practical, cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) tools
• Read Anxiety NZ Trust’s Covid-19 resource
• Download Headstrong, a chatbot to help young people manage stress and isolation
• Request a Covid-19 support pack from Skylight Trust
• Download Aroha, a chatbot to help young people manage stress and isolation
• Download Manaaki Ora, an app that helps you record your own wellbeing plan
• Use this interactive flow-chart to help you practice self-care
• Find new ways to connect, be active, take notice, give and keep learning.

Supporting whānau and loved ones:

• Visit Hāpai Te Hauora’s Covid-19 info hub to help to care for your tamariki and kaumatua during these times
• OUTLine has some wonderful resources for rainbow friends and whānau
• Yellow Brick Road New Zealand
• Just Ask, Just Listen
• Contact your local iwi for more resources and advice relevant to your area.